I just wanted to take time to documents some of my "Sketches". For me Sketches can mean passing thoughts, drawings, simple photographs, found items, and many other things. This process of taking note of something or spending time with a page is an important step in my creative process so I'm going to try to keep this updated as much as possible with those things.
Here is one of my first spreads during the beginning quarantine in 2020.
This was my work space as I was trying to "work from home" for some of my art classes.
A lot of my sketchbook pages were filled with scraps of paper and moments I screen shotted made physical by printing and collaging with the images. These screenshots were from one of my photography class zoom sessions.
This is a rare actual sketch as I tended to stay up late at this time and found myself staring at this chair quietly after everyone in my home had gone to bed. Finding time to be alone to think was an important part of creating in a small space at that time.
Notes to myself trying to understand the things I was making. On the left page I was attempting to process why I was drawn to weird screenshots of myself from candid moments as I didn't know I was being watched. The right page is a note I hastily wrote to myself about why I felt so compelled to be creating. The idea of needing connection and the disappointment that often comes along with not getting what you wanted or expected from the people in your life (or yourself).
I spent as much time possible outside interacting with the sky and the grass to combat sitting inside staring at a computer most of my day. This is one of many hand studies of me trying to reach the sky.
This was quite obviously in response to the whole pandemic situation. One of my professors had asked us (prior to quarantine) to create something in response to the idea of masks. We were supposed to design on top of a mask, however I couldn't quite bring myself to do it. This was simply a response to how I was feeling at the time. Pondering loneliness and connection and trying to find the balance between safety and proximity.
I had an idea at one point to try to describe the closest relationships in my life in vague moments that felt like anyone could exist in them. Without names or pronouns to hint at who these special people were to me, I figured that somebody else could see their life reflected in my own. I thought that was kind of lovely. This idea was something that I eventually came back to when creating the installation for my senior show 'Let's Get Lost"
If I remember correctly this was around the time I decided to take at least one photo of myself on my kitchen floor (One on 35 mm film -color, one on instant film- Instax mini, and one in black and white of whichever camera was available). My mornings would be spent going through assignments on canvas and sifting through these photos from the night before.
There are a lot of random (sometimes out of focus or blurry) photos I took around my house, on walks or car rides, and many in my kitchen. I'll probably post more in a gallery sometime. I realized it was more about making something consistently than making anything specific. There was something meditative about sitting for moments on the floor standing with my eyes closed while timer lights blinked down on point and shoot film cameras. Time began to slow down for me in a way I had not experienced in years.
I saw myself frequently (mostly in moments where I was staring blankly at myself in a "reflection" presented to me by my laptop's camera). I began to screenshot and screen record these moments. For a while I being forced to see what everyone else has access to all the time by looking at me. It can be quite lonely waiting for a call to see if somebody will pick up or if the dial tone will end with a sad image of your own face. It was in the waiting that I felt something I couldn't quite describe.
A lot of my quick notes written to myself were now taken down on odd sketchbook pages surrounded by tape and marker and sometimes even trash.
My affinity for double exposure continued in my kitchen self portrait series. Snapping moments onto film days at a time and setting the rolls aside to one day hopefully see the light. I finally developed some of these in late 2021 and got very excited when the images resurfaced.
See what I mean about using scraps of paper and tape and flowers. This was nothing fancy but you can begin to see that I am using these photos of me on the kitchen floor in my journal now and they are becoming more real and is now documenting a whole time.
Also listening to music was a big thing for me as well. I believe i was listening to "Peace" by ben rector at this time. ( a good song).
Another image showing the background set up involved in trying to create some art in the middle of a pandemic. I honestly quite enjoyed the challenge and the limiting environment helped me to actually make things instead of just planning to one day do something.
Ah I knew there was a photo of my playlists at the time. Anything that felt free and creative and soft were my go to songs. I took a lot of walks to these songs and they paired perfectly with the fresh air.
Weird photos in my kitchen. I have probably close to a hundred of just odd images and I love them all greatly. It was nice to acknowledge that my body exists in space.
This is the last one for now, but I realized during all this time spent alone that I process very well by writing. This is one writing is about feeling like we are all just waiting. It is about the pandemic but it is also something that felt true in my life for years before as well. Loving at a distance has always felt safer to me than diving in. The limited interactions in facetime calls and i message games were new though.